Cannibal Movies: Mmm, Mmm Good

I have neither the time nor the energy to do a Halloween blog as elaborate as last year's, so instead I'm doing a brief review of a few cannibal movies. We're all very familiar with vampires, werewolves, zombies, and the like. Just to be clear, though zombies eat human brains, they are not cannibals since they are technically dead already. Cannibal movies are their own genre, though my very brief and far-from-complete list should prove that the genre can actually be quite diverse. Also, consider this a warning...I'm on my third glass of wine (the alcohol will counteract all the sugar I've consumed today, right?), so this post may very well make no sense whatsoever.

Ravenous (1999)
This movie features Guy Pearce as this army guy who's stationed at some fort in the middle of nowhere in 1847. Robert Carlyle shows up and he's all wanting to eat people and stuff, because he had to at some point and he realized it made him superhuman. David Arquette is in it and (spoiler alert!) he dies, which is awesome. It also features Jeffrey Jones, the principal from Ferris Beuller's Day Off, in one of his better roles, before we found out he was a pervert in real life. I once cooked dinner for Jeffrey Jones when he came to the restaurant I worked at, and it makes me sad that he is a pervert.
But I digress. This movie is actually not terrible. But it is not terrible despite having the worst, most inappropriate soundtrack of any horror movie ever. Even though it takes place in rural America in 1847, the soundtrack is very contemporary and it sounds like it was composed by a 12-year-old on his Casio synthesizer. Still, there were some clever surprises and some creepiness, so it gets at least one thumb up from me.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
I already reviewed this movie here. It was a wonderful return to form for Tim Burton, and it was a musical about cannibalism! Who could've thunk of such a thing! Oh wait....

Cannibal! The Musical (1996)
Honestly, it's been ages since I saw this movie, but after finding the trailer online to do this post, I think I may have to buy it. I mostly remember it was awesome. Like Sweeney Todd, it's a musical about cannibalism. It's also based on the true story of Alferd Packer, the only man convicted of cannibalism in the state of Colorado. Wait, did I just type Colorado? That makes sense, because this movie was also written, directed, and starred in by famous Colorado person Trey Parker. Is it mere coincidence that "Packer" and "Parker" are such similar names? Yes, I believe so.
In any case, as you can probably tell by the trailer below, this movie was made on a shoestring budget, so it looks pretty cheesy. But really, that just adds to the charm. The hilarious songs give you an early glimpse at the genius behind South Park and it's just good fun all around. This is an essential movie for anyone who likes Trey Parker/Colorado history/musicals about cannibalism.


Delicatessen (1991)
I've saved this one for last because a) I just watched it last night and b) Jean-Pierre Jeunet is one of my favoritist directors. I can't find anything about this movie not to like. Even though it's about a butcher in post-apocalyptic France who lures men into his building in order to eventually slaughter them and sell their flesh to his tenants (who know perfectly well what's going on), it's honestly more of a light-hearted jaunt of a movie. Like nearly all of Jeunet's movies--most notably Amelie and City of Lost Children--it is very, very pretty. From the opening panning shot and the beautifully clever credits to the Wes-Anderson-will-eventually-rip-this-off ending, this film is pure eye candy. Despite its plot (such as it is), it's really a dark comedy, heavy on the comedy. Nothing about this film is particularly scary. If you only watch one movie on this list, make it this one. If you watch it on my recommendation and don't like it, feel free to send a scathing comment or e-mail.

Do YOU have a favorite movie about cannabilism? Tell me about it!!