Movie Review: Phantom Of The Paradise

This 1974 unhinged, queer-ass horror/comedy/musical by Brian de Palma tackles an age-old enigma that has plagued all of mankind: what the fuck is up with Paul Williams?


Truly ahead of its time, its flaws are--in retrospect--endearing. And you'll have to decide which is creepier: Paul Williams as Swan or the music (which he wrote) actually being good.

Movie Review: The Ruins

As long as we're talking horror movies, I happened to watch my first horror movie in a long time last week. The Ruins was in movie theaters last spring very briefly and was barely a blip on the radar for most people, but I'd heard some reasonably good things about it, so I gave it a shot.

It wasn't terrible. I'd even go so far as to say it was pretty good. The setup is pretty standard: some attractive people on vacation in Mexico follow a complete stranger to an off-the-map ancient temple so they can have one more adventure before they leave the country. Things go awry quickly when one of the group gets killed by some local villagers the moment they set foot on the pyramid. I'm not really spoiling much when I say that the Big Bad that lurks in the temple has nothing to do with Mayan ghosts or the like. It's the EVIL VINES that grow all over the place.

I know, sounds lame, but it's better than it sounds. There's lots o' killin' going on in this movie, but very little of it is actually done by the vines. They're just sort of the grease for the wheels of murder here. Though there is plenty of visceral gore to admire (and I did my fair share of wincing, because the gore effects are pretty convincing), there's a psychological element that makes this flick a bit smarter than your maniac-in-a-mask slasher film. There's also a "real" actress in this--I'll watch Jena Malone in just about anything. Finally, the fact that most of the film takes place in broad daylight and still manages to be scary is exceptional.

Not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but worth a gander if you're a fan of the genre and missed it last year.

Movie Revie: My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Schlocky, over-the-top, slasher horror fun. The 3-D was AMAZING, the plot semi-intriguing yet still comfortably formulaic, the actors (some throw-back) stilted, and the obligatory horror elements (teeners drinking where they shouldn't, boobies and crotch [in 3-D no less], red herrings, unbelievable 80's-style blood and guts) all were aggressively covered in what seemed to be a "FUCK YOU!" to the tired 90's self-reflective, minimalist gore horror genre of popular TV actors overstepping old stereotypes for overstepping's sake.

Thus, I loved it: the 3-D effects and the fantastic gore alone are worth every penny. Especially impressive was the miner's hat light shining through the screen (how did they do that?). But the movie could have easily failed as an effects piece and didn't, something rare both to the horror genre and 3-D genre.

I'd even watch it again in 2-D.

It had a preview of Coraline 3-D; we all have to go see that next month.

Sickness

I watched The Inside with my Mallet friends. One left during the middle. It is unrepentant sickness. And that includes fucking brilliant camera tricks that John Carpenter could only dream of. When is the last time you ever jumped out of your seat without realizing you were about to?

I loved it: the French are slowly overtaking the Japanese in the genre of uncomfortable, barely watchable horror. I can't wait for these directors' remake of Hellraiser!

I recommend it highly...if you're a sicko...

Re-Made Ultra-Disturbing Cult Film

For those of you who haven't seen the unhinged Austrian horror-thriller Funny Games, an American remake is coming out soon. It's a shot-by-shot recreation of the 10-year-old original with a fine cast and the original director.

The movie includes an obtuse third-person to second-person switch, which initially is quite annoying. However, by the end of the movie, you get it. And you feel sick. Very, very sick...

Cross-posted.

Aliens, Slugs, Queers, And Zombies

While visiting my I'd Offer You Some friends this weekend, I found on some premium channel's on demand list one of my favorite 80's horror movies ever: Night of the Creeps. Predating shiny hot Nathan Fillion's Slither by 2 decades, this movie broke every rule of the genre and came out winning. It's a funny, campy, gross-out "evil renegade alien releases slugs that turn college kids into zombies" flick that is too fucking fun to believe. Add a gay sidekick (who actually outs himself in his suicide tape), characters whose last names are all horror director legends', and the greatest slug effects before CGI: it becomes a true cult classic. And I'm not the only gay who thinks so.

Sadly, you probably won't see it anytime soon: it's never been released on DVD. But since director Fred Dekker's brilliant, underrated The Monster Squad (which I LOVED as a kid) has just been released on a special DVD, maybe this one will eventually make it out with the respect it deserves.

Surprisingly, Yet Mostly Unoriginal, Scary Fun

Over the weekend, one of the many great movies I watched was Vacancy (with Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale). The plot from beginning to end is not original; but the directing, acting, and cinematography is. The movie is actually a well-produced 60's drive-in horror flick, and it is obviously aware of it (the opening credits alone give you all the proof you need).

All said, I was actually scared in a way that I haven't been since Blair Witch, and for many of the same reasons. The characters were flawed. Not overly so, but totally believable and sympathetic. The horror was tactically real; the victims knew what was coming and reacted to it. But, unlike so many bad thrillers, the heroes/victims were believably scared and acted as such; and the villains were just as believable and also flawed. That dichotomy led to some great tension, a tension that most horror movies never achieve.

Great scary fun; I heartily recommend it.


Note: the director also did Kontroll, which is fucking great.

Note 2: one of the directors of Blair Witch made a great movie called Altered. Rent it if you can: it's a surprise cult hit. He and the writer of that movie are making another movie, and I can't wait. .